Lost Limericks

[jughead]

Ok, me being the ding bat that I am, came up with a stupid limrick about Jack. Can you guys come up with some for any season.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack didn't know who Jacob was and got hit with a stick.

[Unbridled Pageantry]

There once was too many threads,
Because of that I wished dead could be dead,
Lostpedia.com is a hell of a resource,
I mean no harm, just guiding the right course,
So I'll just head out to the garage,
To contemplate the fuselage,
Me, the Smoke Monster, a rye and a coke,
Don't take this poem seriously.......
It was merely a joke.
:)

[Desi420]

There once was too many threads,
Because of that I wished dead could be dead,
Lostpedia.com is a hell of a resource,
I mean no harm, just guiding the right course,
So I'll just head out to the garage,
To contemplate the fuselage,
Me, the Smoke Monster, a rye and a coke,
Don't take this poem seriously.......
It was merely a joke.
:)

Hey UP, that's a great suggestion about Lostpedia.... maybe you should start a thread informing people about it!! :)

[Unbridled Pageantry]

This here is a perfect example,
Of a thread buried fore people can sample,
Jughead was right, it's a fun thing to do,
Yet I come home from work, and find it on the bottom of page 2,
But the future is bleek, no salvation I see,
So I'll return to the best thread ever......
Poopy Pants McGee.

[InTheBeginning]

There once was a guy in the Swan
who noticed his partner was gone
he ran towards his boat
his friend tried to gloat
and then his clothes were all gone!

[onlykindalost]

There once was a guy named John Locke
Who tied up his dad on the brig of the Black Rock
He went and got James Ford
Who said "Oh my lord!
My mom used to **** that guy's ****!!!"

[Amp]

I know this guy Named Hurely
He is not the one from the show,
but he does like to eat.

doiwin?

[Unbridled Pageantry]

There once was a guy named John Locke
Who tied up his dad on the brig of the Black Rock
He went and got James Ford
Who said "Oh my lord!
My mom used to **** that guy's ****!!!"

hahahaha, beautiful.
:)

[Landshark]

Bwahahahha!!! I'm hearting this here thread!

[Unbridled Pageantry]

Bwahahahha!!! I'm hearting this here thread!

There once was a bachelor named Landshark,
Who fondled himself in the dark,
One hand named Montand, the other Pierre,
Daily moisturizing helped keep them soft and fare,
With his late night antics he soon grew tired,
His dish cloths and towels had long since expired,
A solution to his problem he needed to retrieve,
So he had two ribs removed and named them Adam and Eve.
:)

[Landshark]

There once was a bachelor named Landshark,
Who fondled himself in the dark,
One hand named Montand, the other Pierre,
Daily moisturizing helped keep them soft and fare,
With his late night antics he soon grew tired,
His dish cloths and towels had long since expired,
A solution to his problem he needed to retrieve,
So he had two ribs removed and named them Adam and Eve.
:)

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Omg that is...*wipes tear*...BEAUTIFUL!!! You had me at "fondled"! This a serenade that even, god rest his soul, Tom could "get behind"!!!

[jughead]

Oh what have I started
My Lost friend's minds have departed
We oft long to hear of Jack and Kate
We end up with more questions about fate
Then theres Ben, who has a wicked slightly evil grin
And then we find the whole thing may be about Sun finding Jin

[HisNameIsRobertPaulson]

Sometimes this show makes us think
Sometimes it drives us to drink
While confusion reigns
We're using our brains
How ever did the island sink?

[notpenny]

In this room the doctor named Jack
Works real hard to fix this chicks back
Has dad barges in
Demands of him count ten
Did we tell you that he's no hack

What ever happened to Walter
That dad of his did not falter
Off got the Isle
Locke did see him smile
Perhaps a knife at the altar?

[onlykindalost]

There once was a surgeon named Jack
Who popped Oxycontin like crack
And with a beard on his chin
& a ****-eating grin
He said, "Kate, we have to go back!"

[jughead]

What if Sawyer wrote a Haiku about Jules?

facinating eyes
intelligent and clever
irrisistible

[onlykindalost]

There once was a man from Tallahassee
Who got rich by conning the lassies
He would've been shocked
To see ol' "John Locke"
In the S6 premiere get all gassy

[onlykindalost]

Ricardus Alpert
What's up with the eyeliner?
People need to know

[onlykindalost]

Poor Boone Carlyle
Young, bright, and incestuous
I laughed when you died

[lost-a-lot]

From the LOST outtakes:


The reason why Linus is surly,
Indignant & dripping is surely
–He toppled as he made
To summon Smokey’s aid
And got a commode-a-phone swirlie.

[InTheBeginning]

There once was a guy named Bram
who knew Jacob wasn't a sham
one day at the foot
he got whacked by the soot
and Locke doesn't really give a damn

[JohnQ]

There once was a young guy named of Boone,
whose sister Shannon made the guy swoon,
they had a short fling,
and made the birds sing,
so they shagged every Monday at noon!

[onlykindalost]

There once was a Captain named Gault
The freighter's destruction wasn't his fault
Instead of hiring Charles Bronson
He employed "Kevin Johnson"
And now he's heard ALL about "Waaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllltttttttttt!"

[LissaMarie]

LOL!! Nice guys! I just read this thread for the first time. Very clever. :D

[jughead]

Tis Lost's last season
We've all loved it, just not sure the reason
Through peril, plot twists, pit falls, and lies
It's been fun for gals and the guys
When its all over, will we be sad?
Or, will we be mad?

[InTheBeginning]

Was it the oceanic 6, or was it 7 or 8
either way, their stories weren't great
they stayed home feeling a lack
but they "had to go back"
beacause changing destiny is their fate

[natego]

Do some of you even know what a limerick is???????

5 lines, AABBA

[JohnQ]

Read the thread title again...almost sounds perverted! :D

[Unbridled Pageantry]

Do some of you even know what a limerick is???????

5 lines, AABBA

What does ABBA have to do with this??
;)

[jughead]

Do some of you even know what a limerick is???????

5 lines, AABBA

Yeah, but I couldn't fit the last one into 5 lines...besides, this was just for fun anyway. I mean, seeing how this is the last season.

[HisNameIsRobertPaulson]

ignorance is surely bliss
your limericks are all amiss
these things have rules
you silly fools
natego will not stand for this!

[LissaMarie]

ignorance is surely bliss
your limericks are all amiss
these things have rules
you silly fools
natego will not stand for this!

LOL!!! Beautiful, Robert. :D

[Unbridled Pageantry]

Now we're old and grey Fernando,
And since many years I haven't seen a rifle in your hands,
Can you hear the drums Fernando?
Do you still recall the frightful night we crossed the Rio Grande?
I can see it in your eyes,
How proud you were to fight for freedom in this land.

[JohnQ]

There once was a woman named Kate,

who's stealing determined her fate,

she loved two dudes so it seems,

and teased them with her high beams,

if Smoke Monster snuffed her, how great!

[natego]

ignorance is surely bliss
your limericks are all amiss
these things have rules
you silly fools
natego will not stand for this!

Ahhhhh Thank you. I feel MUCH better now ;)

[onlykindalost]

Juliette would probably be a good swing dancer
But don't rely on her for all the answers
If, like she said, "It Worked!"
I'll bet she feels like a jerk
Because now her sister is dying of cancer:(

[Nemesis Prime]

Heres one about Mr. Ecko
A big stick he just couldn't let go
He cracked open some heads
But Smokie wanted him dead
It was all meant to be from the get go

[onlykindalost]

Speaking of old Mr. Eko
Did he have insurance? Oh heck no!
Before Smokey went psycho
He should've considered Geico
And bought a big policy from that gekko

(I understand it's car insurance, ok)

[BigL5000]

Ben, Ben, Ben
He has no friends
He doesn't want any either
He'd rather just have everyone on his peter
He can't blow black smoke anymore
John Locke is here to settle the score

[Here'sLOCKEing at you,Kid]

There once was a man named Jack
whose leadership started to slack.
He held fast the hope
that they'd get to the boat,
then all he wanted to do was go BACK!

There was a big man named Hurley,
(the one whose hair is quite curley)
He sure liked to eat
so if you want a seat,
better get to the table early.

There once was a man named Sayid,
whose profession they'd call when in need.
whether torture in jail,
or bamboo to a nail,
it's prudent you heed to Sayid.

There was a young woman named Kate
Who couldn't decide on a mate.
This would be such her luck,
oh which one should she ****?
The outcome is up for debate.

There once was a young girl named Claire,
who found herself plopped in a chair,
she bade us come in,
with a big, goofy grin,
left us wondering if she was all there.

The Island, as everyone knows,
can make or forsake, you suppose.
But with faith never shaken,
they all should have taken
a lesson from a good woman, Rose.

There was a young man named Paulo
Whose script that week was just hollow.
We made it quite clear,
you're not welcome here,
so just go. please don't lead. we won't follow.

There once was a girl named Nikki,
whose taste in men wasn't picky.
They sowed what they reaped,
Wait!! They're only asleep!!!
OOPS! So much for Paulo and Nickki. (bye bye)

[rachelskid]

There once was a man named Jack
whose leadership started to slack.
He held fast the hope
that they'd get to the boat,
then all he wanted to do was go BACK!

There was a big man named Hurley,
(the one whose hair is quite curley)
He sure liked to eat
so if you want a seat,
better get to the table early.

There once was a man named Sayid,
whose profession they'd call when in need.
whether torture in jail,
or bamboo to a nail,
it's prudent you heed to Sayid.

There was a young woman named Kate
Who couldn't decide on a mate.
This would be such her luck,
oh which one should she ****?
The outcome is up for debate.

There once was a young girl named Claire,
who found herself plopped in a chair,
she bade us come in,
with a big, goofy grin,
left us wondering if she was all there.

The Island, as everyone knows,
can make or forsake, you suppose.
But with faith never shaken,
they all should have taken
a lesson from a good woman, Rose.

There was a young man named Paulo
Whose script that week was just hollow.
We made it quite clear,
you're not welcome here,
so just go. please don't lead. we won't follow.

There once was a girl named Nikki,
whose taste in men wasn't picky.
They sowed what they reaped,
Wait!! They're only asleep!!!
OOPS! So much for Paulo and Nickki. (bye bye)

best one yet! lol! kate's stance rules!! :D

[spartygirl]

best one yet! lol! kate's stance rules!! :D

ditto !!! Mrs L...thats just awesome...:D

[HisNameIsRobertPaulson]

Fabulous, Here's! :D

[onlykindalost]

There once was a man named Jack
whose leadership started to slack.
He held fast the hope
that they'd get to the boat,
then all he wanted to do was go BACK!

There was a big man named Hurley,
(the one whose hair is quite curley)
He sure liked to eat
so if you want a seat,
better get to the table early.

There once was a man named Sayid,
whose profession they'd call when in need.
whether torture in jail,
or bamboo to a nail,
it's prudent you heed to Sayid.

There was a young woman named Kate
Who couldn't decide on a mate.
This would be such her luck,
oh which one should she ****?
The outcome is up for debate.

There once was a young girl named Claire,
who found herself plopped in a chair,
she bade us come in,
with a big, goofy grin,
left us wondering if she was all there.

The Island, as everyone knows,
can make or forsake, you suppose.
But with faith never shaken,
they all should have taken
a lesson from a good woman, Rose.

There was a young man named Paulo
Whose script that week was just hollow.
We made it quite clear,
you're not welcome here,
so just go. please don't lead. we won't follow.

There once was a girl named Nikki,
whose taste in men wasn't picky.
They sowed what they reaped,
Wait!! They're only asleep!!!
OOPS! So much for Paulo and Nickki. (bye bye)

ROFL!!!! Amazing!!! I do believe we have a winner!

[jughead]

Wowzers!:d

[Unbridled Pageantry]

There once was a woman named Lockeing,
In my future hand in hand we'll be walking,
Back in time I will travel,
Our clothes will un-ravel,
And with my teeth I will remove her stockings.

[boutte]

There once was a man named Jack
whose leadership started to slack.
He held fast the hope
that they'd get to the boat,
then all he wanted to do was go BACK!

There was a big man named Hurley,
(the one whose hair is quite curley)
He sure liked to eat
so if you want a seat,
better get to the table early.

There once was a man named Sayid,
whose profession they'd call when in need.
whether torture in jail,
or bamboo to a nail,
it's prudent you heed to Sayid.

There was a young woman named Kate
Who couldn't decide on a mate.
This would be such her luck,
oh which one should she ****?
The outcome is up for debate.

There once was a young girl named Claire,
who found herself plopped in a chair,
she bade us come in,
with a big, goofy grin,
left us wondering if she was all there.

The Island, as everyone knows,
can make or forsake, you suppose.
But with faith never shaken,
they all should have taken
a lesson from a good woman, Rose.

There was a young man named Paulo
Whose script that week was just hollow.
We made it quite clear,
you're not welcome here,
so just go. please don't lead. we won't follow.

There once was a girl named Nikki,
whose taste in men wasn't picky.
They sowed what they reaped,
Wait!! They're only asleep!!!
OOPS! So much for Paulo and Nickki. (bye bye)

BRAVO!!! http://i293.photobucket.com/albums/mm49/boogaleeboutte/smilies/beerchug.gif

[LissaMarie]

There once was a woman named Lockeing,
In my future hand in hand we'll be walking,
Back in time I will travel,
Our clothes will un-ravel,
And with my teeth I will remove her stalkings.

Ok, we all know I'm retentive but I have to ask...

Did you intentionally misspell stockings because Locke is stalking you? :eek: :D

This is very sweet and funny!! Lockiepoo, your Kate limerick is just plain awesome. :D

[Unbridled Pageantry]

Ok, we all know I'm retentive but I have to ask...

Did you intentionally misspell stockings because Locke is stalking you? :eek: :D

This is very sweet and funny!! Lockiepoo, your Kate limerick is just plain awesome. :D

Nope, just mispelt stockings.

[LissaMarie]

Nope, just mispelt stockings.

I couldn't tell if it was you exercising that creative mind of yours or not. Still, a pretty funny misspelling, UP! :D

[JohnQ]

There once was a Canadian named UP,

who's c**k got somehow stuck in a small cup,

how he whined and he cried,

no matter what he tried,

til it was licked free by Vincent the pup!

[onlykindalost]

There once was a Canadian named UP,

who's c**k got somehow stuck in a small cup,

how he whined and he cried,

no matter what he tried,

til it was licked free by Vincent the pup!

I keep a supply of (dharma-brand) Peanut Butter on hand for JUST such emergencies, if anybody needs a glop. EXTRA-SMOOTH!!!:cool: