Sox1Series
02-27-2010, 01:24 PM
I found this job posting on, you guessed it, SmokeMonster.com.
Job Title: Vice President of Island Protection
Job Description: This position is responsible for the security and maintenance of all Island facilities consisting of several underground pods which are now completely uninhabited, since most of the employees who worked there were killed by a mass gas poisoning incident. Candidates should expect a great deal of travel, in fact, maybe as much as several hundred years into the past. Required skills include experience with knives, guns, C-4 explosives, CPR, general surgery, kayaking, and a working knowlege of Microsoft Word, Excel, and Powerpoint. Interested candidates should send their names only (no resumes, please) to the following address:
Lost Island, Inc.
Attn: Jacob, Human Resource Manager
4815 1st Street
Otherton, SP 62342
All names will be posted on the walls and ceiling of a remote cave precariously hanging over the pacific ocean, accessible only via broken ladder hanging several hundred feet over a rock hillside. Each candidate will be given an account number which must be included on all correspondence. Interviews will be scheduled accordingly. For directions to our facility, please choose one of the following:
- Submarine service from Portland, runs daily and includes tranquilizer
shots at no additional charge.
- Oceanic Airlines provides direct one-way service from Australia, no
stopovers, consult Oceanic for departure times.
- Ajira Airlines provides direct service from LAX to 1977 with continuing
service to 2007 at no additional charge.
Experience with ominous smoke monster is preferred, but not required.
Thank you for your inquiry and good luck making it home alive.
Job Title: Vice President of Island Protection
Job Description: This position is responsible for the security and maintenance of all Island facilities consisting of several underground pods which are now completely uninhabited, since most of the employees who worked there were killed by a mass gas poisoning incident. Candidates should expect a great deal of travel, in fact, maybe as much as several hundred years into the past. Required skills include experience with knives, guns, C-4 explosives, CPR, general surgery, kayaking, and a working knowlege of Microsoft Word, Excel, and Powerpoint. Interested candidates should send their names only (no resumes, please) to the following address:
Lost Island, Inc.
Attn: Jacob, Human Resource Manager
4815 1st Street
Otherton, SP 62342
All names will be posted on the walls and ceiling of a remote cave precariously hanging over the pacific ocean, accessible only via broken ladder hanging several hundred feet over a rock hillside. Each candidate will be given an account number which must be included on all correspondence. Interviews will be scheduled accordingly. For directions to our facility, please choose one of the following:
- Submarine service from Portland, runs daily and includes tranquilizer
shots at no additional charge.
- Oceanic Airlines provides direct one-way service from Australia, no
stopovers, consult Oceanic for departure times.
- Ajira Airlines provides direct service from LAX to 1977 with continuing
service to 2007 at no additional charge.
Experience with ominous smoke monster is preferred, but not required.
Thank you for your inquiry and good luck making it home alive.