Patchy's Finale Bullet Points

[thelawgiver]

My head is exploding from two-hours of “too much information”, but here goes:

--The new couple: Sawyer and Juliette, getting cuddly inside a bottle of Dharma Rum.

--Rose is watching you Miles.

--Daniel, really, it’s time to lose the 80s tie!

--Charlotte, still useless.

--Worst poker face: Charlotte.

--The big kiss was:
A) Sawyer and Kate
B) Des and Penny
C) Daniel and Charlotte
D) Jack and Des!?

--No John, this is not “the magic box”, that was a metaphor. God you are so retarded sometimes.

--Locke is not a horticulturalist.

--The new almond grower’s spokesperson: Miles. “A can a week is all we ask”.

--Every time Hurley’s walking through the jungle, I get the feeling that he is just tending to his Maui pot farm.

--No Jack, you are not lying to protect anyone, you are lying because you would all be living with Hurley at the asylum if you told the truth.

--Wow Claire, a whole 30 seconds of air time in the 2-hour season finale. And you are wearing the red shirt! For god’s sake don’t take the red shirt when the wardrobe department gives it to you!

--Locke to Ben: “Another Dharma orientation tape to watch, Ben? Enough of your bulllsh*t and secrets, where have you stashed the porn?”

--First Mikhail, now Keamy. Can’t our favorite mercenaries survive for more than one season?

--And the cliffhanger is: What happened to Bernard?

--Best quote: “So”.

--Is Miles staying because he walked over the graves of Nikki and Paolo and knows that they are buried with big buck diamonds or is it all the yummy Dharma food?? Maybe Locke will feed you that grenade again.

--The press conference if they told the truth, per Hurley:
"…so after the plane crash we found the cockpit and the pilot was snatched by this smoke monster thingy, there were polar bears and whispers in the jungle, we found this hatch and blew it open with 150 year old dynamite from a sailing ship marooned about a mile inland, then we had to press these numbers to stop the world from exploding (which were the same numbers I won the lottery with), bulk ranch dressing and peanut butter fell from the sky, this guy said he crashed in his balloon but was lying and actually led the “Others” who gassed these Dharma scientist dudes, Jack had to remove a tumor from the guy’s spine in a polar bear operating room, there was a submarine but Locke blew it up, oh and we found this plane loaded with heroin, a creepy guy snatched Claire to do underground baby experiments, there was a crazy French lady, we saw dead people, we had a VW van and warm beer, there was an underwater place that jammed radio signals, the sky went purple when the hatch blew, lots of people were killed, we tortured people for information, oh and the island disappeared when we were in the chopper so you will never find it. There’s a lot more, but that gives you an idea of how our 100 days went." Reporter: So how much heroin did you consume and are you still on it?

--So Ben unclogs the stopped up drain? There goes the island!

--John, do you really think that Keamy is the “let’s talk this over” type of guy?

--TQ got her wish: a shirtless Sawyer.

--That’s right Sawyer, it’s much easier to swim by taking off the cotton shirt. But leave on the blue jeans, which only weigh like 20 pound when wet!

--Wow, Penny’s boat. Thanks for finding us. Let’s talk about our next step. But let’s not discuss the fact that we are near the freighter wreckage and there still may be survivors floating in the water or perhaps in Daniel’s little dingy (still getting great gas mileage). Instead let’s just motor on.

--Kate wore the perfect shirt the whole time. Am I right guys?

--You got your wish Locke, you are leader of the island weirdoes.

--So bad things have been happening since they left the island? What good things happened when they were there??

--That teary-eyed moment for me: Sawyer and Hurley sharing saltines.

--Des must have been time-traveling when they covered deactivating C4 explosives.

--Michael is now Mr. Science.

--Finally no more threads about who’s in the coffin!!

--Michael, I’m pregnant…and it may be yours!

--Oh and Walt, your dad was on the freighter and it blew up.

--Mr. Ecko sucks at chess.

--So Grandma Walt, no questions for Hurley about your own son?

--Sun: friend or foe?

--Will someone please buy that billionaire Widmore a razor!

--So Sayid, you have a gun and you just shot someone sitting in a car outside the asylum, who’s the psycho now?

--Trying to re-unite the 06 to return to the island is like orchestrating a Beatles or Van Halen reunion.

--Ben’s going around like Jake Blues: “Where getting the band back together. We are on a mission from god.”

--Are you all going to buy your “Who Shot Locke” t-shirts to wear before next season? (Reference to Dallas: “Who Shot JR”).

--Kenny Rogers, LOL.

--Frozen Donkey Wheel? They've officially jumped the shark.

--I know I've been a real jerk lately Kate, what with the beard, pills, booze, and "let's go back" stuff. But tell me what conditioner you are using to make your hair so soft and shiny.

--The number one unaswered thing that Patchy must know and is pissed because it was not addressed: The four-toed foot!! Come on, clue us in!!

[snow24]

--Locke is not a horticulturalist.

this really made me lol

[Missie]

Haha very funny, You make my day after every episode!

[Dzbabykel]

Yah my head is exploding too! I thought it was interesting also that Miles knew Charlotte had been on the island before, I wonder where he got that info? Most likely from the dead people inhabiting the island haha. Sorry if this has already been discussed...I haven't even begun to catch up on ALL the posts from last night and today! Too much information!

[sj256]

Originally Posted by Dzbabykel

Yah my head is exploding too! I thought it was interesting also that Miles knew Charlotte had been on the island before, I wonder where he got that info? Most likely from the dead people inhabiting the island haha. Sorry if this has already been discussed...I haven't even begun to catch up on ALL the posts from last night and today! Too much information!

Nice Job Patchy.

I agree Dz, it had to be from dead people. Maybe her Parent's were in the DI?

[JezzyTheJezebel]

Masterfully done...as usual Patchy. You had me laughing yet again. I especially love Hurley's summation of the entire time on the island...good stuff

[Dzbabykel]

Originally Posted by sj256

Nice Job Patchy.

I agree Dz, it had to be from dead people. Maybe her Parent's were in the DI?

Thats what I was thinking SJ, that Charlotte was born on the island her parents were dead there or something still on the island. It's quite far fetched haha but I was thinkin thats the reason Charlotte's been searching for the Dharma Initiative because her parents were apart of it, which is why in Tunisia she got so excited about finding the collar. She probably already knew about the Orchid Station and what it was capable of.

[Dzbabykel]

ANd Patchy I TOTALLY thought that too, regarding when Sun tells Michael she's pregnant! Haha I was thinking ahh that could be his!!! (Not really since her baby clearly comes out Korean but still was funny)

[BomberDawg95]

Originally Posted by thelawgiver

My head is exploding from two-hours of “too much information”, but here goes:

--The new couple: Sawyer and Juliette, getting cuddly inside a bottle of Dharma Rum.

--Rose is watching you Miles.

--Daniel, really, it’s time to lose the 80s tie!

--Charlotte, still useless.

--Worst poker face: Charlotte.

--The big kiss was:
A) Sawyer and Kate
B) Des and Penny
C) Daniel and Charlotte
D) Jack and Des!?

--No John, this is not “the magic box”, that was a metaphor. God you are so retarded sometimes.

--Locke is not a horticulturalist.

--The new almond grower’s spokesperson: Miles. “A can a week is all we ask”.

--Every time Hurley’s walking through the jungle, I get the feeling that he is just tending to his Maui pot farm.

--No Jack, you are not lying to protect anyone, you are lying because you would all be living with Hurley at the asylum if you told the truth.

--Wow Claire, a whole 30 seconds of air time in the 2-hour season finale. And you are wearing the red shirt! For god’s sake don’t take the red shirt when the wardrobe department gives it to you!

--Locke to Ben: “Another Dharma orientation tape to watch, Ben? Enough of your bulllsh*t and secrets, where have you stashed the porn?”

--First Mikhail, now Keamy. Can’t our favorite mercenaries survive for more than one season?

--And the cliffhanger is: What happened to Bernard?

--Best quote: “So”.

--Is Miles staying because he walked over the graves of Nikki and Paolo and knows that they are buried with big buck diamonds or is it all the yummy Dharma food?? Maybe Locke will feed you that grenade again.

--The press conference if they told the truth, per Hurley:
"…so after the plane crash we found the cockpit and the pilot was snatched by this smoke monster thingy, there were polar bears and whispers in the jungle, we found this hatch and blew it open with 150 year old dynamite from a sailing ship marooned about a mile inland, then we had to press these numbers to stop the world from exploding (which were the same numbers I won the lottery with), bulk ranch dressing and peanut butter fell from the sky, this guy said he crashed in his balloon but was lying and actually led the “Others” who gassed these Dharma scientist dudes, Jack had to remove a tumor from the guy’s spine in a polar bear operating room, there was a submarine but Locke blew it up, oh and we found this plane loaded with heroin, a creepy guy snatched Claire to do underground baby experiments, there was a crazy French lady, we saw dead people, we had a VW van and warm beer, there was an underwater place that jammed radio signals, the sky went purple when the hatch blew, lots of people were killed, we tortured people for information, oh and the island disappeared when we were in the chopper so you will never find it. There’s a lot more, but that gives you an idea of how our 100 days went." Reporter: So how much heroin did you consume and are you still on it?

--So Ben unclogs the stopped up drain? There goes the island!

--John, do you really think that Keamy is the “let’s talk this over” type of guy?

--TQ got her wish: a shirtless Sawyer.

--That’s right Sawyer, it’s much easier to swim by taking off the cotton shirt. But leave on the blue jeans, which only weigh like 20 pound when wet!

--Wow, Penny’s boat. Thanks for finding us. Let’s talk about our next step. But let’s not discuss the fact that we are near the freighter wreckage and there still may be survivors floating in the water or perhaps in Daniel’s little dingy (still getting great gas mileage). Instead let’s just motor on.

--Kate wore the perfect shirt the whole time. Am I right guys?

--You got your wish Locke, you are leader of the island weirdoes.

--So bad things have been happening since they left the island? What good things happened when they were there??

--That teary-eyed moment for me: Sawyer and Hurley sharing saltines.

--Des must have been time-traveling when they covered deactivating C4 explosives.

--Michael is now Mr. Science.

--Finally no more threads about who’s in the coffin!!

--Michael, I’m pregnant…and it may be yours!

--Oh and Walt, your dad was on the freighter and it blew up.

--Mr. Ecko sucks at chess.

--So Grandma Walt, no questions for Hurley about your own son?

--Sun: friend or foe?

--Will someone please buy that billionaire Widmore a razor!

--So Sayid, you have a gun and you just shot someone sitting in a car outside the asylum, who’s the psycho now?

--Trying to re-unite the 06 to return to the island is like orchestrating a Beatles or Van Halen reunion.

--Ben’s going around like Jake Blues: “Where getting the band back together. We are on a mission from god.”

--Are you all going to buy your “Who Shot Locke” t-shirts to wear before next season? (Reference to Dallas: “Who Shot JR”).

--Kenny Rogers, LOL.

--Frozen Donkey Wheel? They've officially jumped the shark.

--I know I've been a real jerk lately Kate, what with the beard, pills, booze, and "let's go back" stuff. But tell me what conditioner you are using to make your hair so soft and shiny.

--The number one unaswered thing that Patchy must know and is pissed because it was not addressed: The four-toed foot!! Come on, clue us in!!

BD's Bullet Points

-- So here we are, starting the end of our Season 4 where we ended our Season 3. I feel like I'm having my own flashback.

-- So Desmond has apparently become our bomb disposal expert. Look out for it in Season 6's Finale: There's a nuclear bomb set to go off on the Island. Desmond is back and can only choose the red or blue wire. He cuts the red. LOST

-- If Walt was so special, why did no one go to see him off the Island?

-- Judging by Sayid's fight with Keamy, its amazing the US was able to even compete in the first Gulf War, much less win it. Personally, I'm glad it wasn't a hand-to-hand war.

-- Time-traveling bunnies, Ben? Is this like Roger Rabbit meets Back to the Future? Call the Doc, Bugs Bunny is going to get shot in the future by Elmer Fudd!

-- Time-traveling bunnies, part II:
At least the white rabbit won't be late anymore...

-- Here, John, you go ahead and just sit here and watch this little video here just brimming with information, I've got some big people stuff to do...

-- Michael, in all that time painting and working construction, you must've taken night classes at MIT as part of their Chemical engineering degree. Convenient, eh?

-- "We need to lose a couple hundred pounds!" And, of course, Hurley's scrawny ass goes no where. Thanks, dude.

-- Christian: "Michael, look, I know I've conveniently saved you from death for a majority of this season, but it looks as if you have served your purpose. So I'm thinking that 'No Death' protection you're getting is at an end. Oh, look, the canister you're using the keep that C4 from exploding is empty. What can I say, I wasn't exactly one for good timing. Thanks for your help, though. Nothing but love for you."

*Boom*

-- If that was enough C4 to blow up an aircraft carrier, that explosion was pretty scrawny for a small freighter.

-- I'm taking bets right now that Jin is still alive. Vegas has the odds at 2:1. I'd take them. He survived the the first raft and its better odds then Big Brown is getting at the Belmont.

-- Juliet drinking rum on a beach...I so wish I was Sawyer right there...

-- So Ben just jumped 9 months into the future after turning this, quite literally, frozen donkey wheel. Where's the imagination? I certainly didn't see the wheel get to 88 miles per hour.

-- Oh, look the Island disappeared. Just up and disappeared. What's so dangerous about that?

-- Sun & Widmore getting together to start talking business. Is she gonna give him the business her husband gave people for her father?

-- Miles, momma Rose has got her eye on your creepy, dead-person seeing, butt. Don't mess with Momma Rose, Miles.

-- Charlotte is looking for where she was born? I'd have started with the hospitals first, dear.

And Last, but certainly not least.

-- John Locke, leader of the others, great man, holy man, able to overcome paralysis to lead his people to freedom. But wait, he's in the coffin and dead. Usually they look for another child when the Dahlia Lhama dies. In his case, their just gonna skip that part and bring his corpse back to the Island.

-- How Jack needs to get back to the Island. "Listen, my name's Jack Shepard. I've gotta get this body through customs so I can bury my...friend. Look, I came over here from Austraila, and I just want to take him back and bury him there. Can you do that for me? These other five people? Oh, we were all on that fight that crashed from Sydney to LA, but no worries, we've got good Kharma now."

[Dzbabykel]

Hahaha I'd post mine but you guys are totally reading my mind!! Couldn't wrap it up better myself boys