to get the brain going when y'all finally wander in here.....
just wondering for everyone, what is the difference between loving someone and being in love?
i had the most ridiculous discussion about this last night and am now a little curious on folks opinions.
I absolutely cannot believe this. I just wrote a big long post here and it got sent out to cyberspace, somehow. Now I have to get to work and don't have time to re do it. But the bottom line was, if you are truly IN love, you will feel something that is indescribable and that is called magic. If you have that, then that person is right for you and your relationship will withstand the ebbs and flows, ups and downs of a lasting relationship. You won't just be going through the motions of conducting the business of a marriage/relationship. Darn, I'm going to be late for work, so that's all I have to say for now.
Greek distinguishes several different senses in which the word love is used. For example, Ancient Greek has the words philia, eros, agape, storge and xenia. However, with Greek as with many other languages, it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words totally. At the same time the Ancient Greek text of the Bible has examples of the verb agapo being used with the same meaning as phileo.
Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means love in modern day Greek. The term s'agapo means I love you in Greek. The word agapo is the verb I love. It generally refers to a "pure", ideal type of love rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros. However, there are some examples of agape used to mean the same as eros. It has also been translated as "love of the soul".
Eros (ἔρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Greek word erota means in love. Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. Some translations list it as "love of the body".
Philia (φιλία philía), a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship. Can also mean "love of the mind". Storge (στοργή storgē) is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.
Xenia (ξενία xenía), hospitality, was an extremely important practice in Ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and their guest, who could previously be strangers. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was only expected to repay with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout Greek mythology, in particular Homer's Iliad and Odyssey
I'm not sure, maybe a chemical reaction. I fell in love with my DH the moment we met (yes, love at first sight!) and that was 22 years ago. We have talked about it and found out that we both felt the same way. If it's chemical, it's still there after all of these years. I feel a "rush" when I am in his arms. It's addicting.
I fell in love with hubbie #1 at first site as well. We grew together as one; finishing each others sentences, knowing what the other was thinking without saying. Unfortunately, life got in the way. It pulled us apart. Long and sad story. I had always believed that we would again meet, someday, much later in life. Sound familiar? Anyway, he wound up remarrying the girl from my high school class that he dated before me. How's that for strange? They were reunited through a newspaper ad in a different state. She was the one we used to make fun of for being so...uh, not so smart. I will never forget that she once asked him "How do rocks grow?" Well, need I say more about that?
I have always believed also, that we have played out this dance through the universe over many lives. We have met before, in other lives, and connected. We have always failed at maintaining that connection though. If not this life, then I will see him in another and maybe, just maybe, that one will be the right one. We are so alike it is scary! We are, no pun intended, mirror images of each others souls. That, my friend, is true love.
I'm so sorry that it didn't work out with him. The Hindu thought is that we live seven times with our friends and loved ones if you are lucky, in each life we are mixed together in different ways (ie, if you are married to your love in one life, you may be son or mother or friend in another life) I think that drinking water first with a newly married spouse ensures that you will spend those seven lives married in each life.
I'd like to add to what I was saying before my post got lost in cyberspace...
Loving, and Being in love are two different things. There is also Falling in love, that initial infatuation where you have stars in your eyes.
Experts say that you may not always BE in love with your partner throughout the years, but you continue LOVING them. They say that is normal and that during those times, in a good relationship, you will both work at getting that back to BEING in love with each other. That is great if you can. If you cannot, and still remain together for all the various reasons, you may very well be content just simply LOVING your partner.
But if you are not truly IN love or never really FELL IN LOVE with your partner to begin with, but just LOVED them, you have missed the single most important factor - magic. And it is a sad thing when you do (and you WILL sooner or later) find yourself falling in love with someone else and discovering what you missed, then not being in a position to do anything about it. To that, I have no answer, except to make sure next time around, if there IS a next time around, that magic is present.